Don't You Cry Now

Seek the thrill you've missed for so long
Find the meaning you've been denied forever
So that I can lay dormant, forgotten for you.

Meaning, shallow word among so many.
Do you find me in it?
Do you find anything at all?

Billowing smoke welcomes my screaming as you don't
Tears seek my solace when I go to them for fear
Fire searches me out when I forget to hide

The doors remain silent in their lock, yet I never ask to leave.
If that same silence is never breached, do my words mean anything?
Would you ask for my permission, if it was never required yet?

Give up on me, I want to beg of you
Make me feel what I need to feel good enough
What would you make me lose to let go?

Sacrificial confusion among the superficial
Screaming silence among the scratched soundwaves
If I didn't want to cry, would you ask that of me as well?

And Ever

I feel like
I'm drowning
In your soft safety
I feel like
I can't breath
In your soft serenity
I beseech you
I cry to you
What am I supposed to you?
Can I take
Another drink
Of your sweet eternity?

And now I'm drowning in
The way your hands brush on my skin
I'm sinking in
to the life that we create together
Falling in
and I can't escape it,
No, not ever
Yours forever
Yours forever

There's no tears now
You fight away my fears now
But oh, dear knight
You cannot fight my secret dragons
Cannot find the secret passage
It's dangerous to go alone
So take my tears
Defeat my fears
And save your princess


Because she's drowning in
The way your hands brush on her skin
She's sinking in
to the life you could create together
Falling in
and she can't escape it,
No, not ever
Yours forever
Yours forever

Where is my castle
Way up in the sky
Where is my glass bed?
Have you seen, not I.
Where's silver slipper
And my golden ring?
Knight, you make a lot of promises
But I'll wait for you to begin

I'm drowning in your promises
I'm sinking in your eyes
I've tried not to look down
But I can't help but too compromise

I cannot forget you, although I've tried
I can't stop you loving you, although I've cried
There's no escape
In a life that isn't fair
We're all the same
We're writhing in our helpless pain
Maybe it's escapable and maybe it's not
But who are we to say that isn't not real love?

And now I'm drowning in
The way your hands brush on my skin
I'm sinking in
to the life that we create together
Falling in
and I can't escape it,
No, not ever
Yours forever
Yours forever

Yours forever
Drowning and sinking and falling down
Forever and ever
And ever and ever
Forever and ever
I'm falling down.

Familia

If you let me make you smile,
I promise, I'll steal the sun from the sky.
I'll wrap it up in cellophane and put it at the end of your bed
So that if you can't sleep at night,
The light will still be there.
Let me do something to you,
That I never should.
Let me hold you in ways,
I never hoped I could.

Let me shush you for your curses,
And reach out when you cry.
Give me a real reason for my pain.
Honestly,
I want to take you home,
Take you in my arms,
Tease you and taunt you 'til midnight.
If only.

If anyone stares, I won't hesitate to hurt them
If you give me the one thing I don't have
I don't want a lot of love,
And I don't want acknowledgement that you care
Don't ask my life story, do you need to know anyway?
I want to wake up at 3am and wander to your door
Draw on your mirror and leave crumbs in your bed

I want to bind you when you bleed
Hold you when you need it
I want to feel your skin, your hair
See how you look when you wake up
I think that's a bad thing to want

I want to scratch my nails across your skin
Mark you, keep you, take you
Like a lover should.

Sunrise, Sunset

Oh, when air thickens with fear,
When your tears go unanswered,
When the night brings you only terror
And you can't sleep,
Believe me, I know this,

When you feel all alone,
And the night is unending
When fear is your only friend
And no one stops to help you
But don't you forget that
You've haven't let it get you yet,
If you could hold your head high,
Over all the poison of your past
Why would you fall now?

And you, have you the slightest idea
How you make me smile?
Do you know all the ways
You make me proud?
And I would tell the world
That I love you so.

And believe me when I say,
Your innocence shines through
Tangible, almost touchable
You say all your words
You play your part perfect
But it isn't like you underneath

When storms come calling,
And you cling to yourself
In the hope that you can escape
Just think and I will be there,
Call and I will give you a way,
A rope-bridge of love, steady and stable
Over the chasm of your fear
I'll be here,

When it's dark and unresting,
Give me your burden until you are strong again
And when the night ends,
We can run into the sunlight,
Embrace in the light
And know that we can make it through,
If we hold together and wait for the sun.

Bedtime Stories

Murmur, click, murmur
Footsteps, padlock

Now, says the doctor, his white coat never cleaner
We've lost a patient, have you seen her?
Tied her up and hour ago
With three guards or so
He continues, she's rather odd, you know
Small and frail, a shy young doe
Yet, they brought her in in chains, branded her a killer
Sharp as a blade, a real little thriller
It's strange in my hospital to find one so abnormal
There's trial date on sunday, everyone's in formal
Yet we just don't know where the main event is

Scuffle, shout, mumble
Scream, splatter

The ladies at market gather round and talk about it
A young girl, no, a killer, escaped, no time to acquit her
Poisoned one, beat another, slashed one up after dinner
She's a pretty little girl with the cold heart of a sinner
The young men at the pub laugh and joke very crudely
And they grin and down their drink while they're thinking lewdly
The governor throw a panic, and shuts down all the travel
While the judge finds his jury and the courthouse finds his gavel
The town is eagerly preparing for a girl who's now gone missing
With all the press, there's no dismissing
That she'll never be set free

Shudder, crash, footsteps
Ring, ring,

In the church, there's a telephone that's been ringing all that day
Where the nuns and priesthood take their time out to pray
But today there's no praying, no worship and no life
All the praying in the world couldn't save them from a knife
An at the school there's alarm bells, and rumours of a child
Shooting all the students, the blood makes her beguiled
When police track her down, there's no drawn out fight
Just a gunshot to her head brings an end to the fright
Blaring sirens trying to save a hundred lives
It would be a miracle if anyone survives
Just proof that the living are all made to die

Crash, shudder, scream
Scream, choking, silent

News

So, as much as I don't like putting writing posts on here, I'm currently putting together a poetry book called Project Lolita, not sure on dates yet, but it should be later this year. It'll be around 100 poems in it, some from a while ago, and much more recent ones, with authors notes, and some various quotes. I'll update when I have more details, but for now, this is all my information.

Forever

Don't ask me,
Don't tell me,
I really do not know
You're boring
You're sickly
I'd rather be left alone

Don't question
My motives
They're beyond my control
You're tiring
You're useless
I'm fine on my own

Waking up isn't easy
With you to look forward to
You repel me
Like magnets
We're not the opposite poles

You might say
I don't like you
But it's not true at all
I don't care now
I don't want you
You're better off alone

Our conversations are listless
You bore me half to death
I've heard it all before

Your illness
Is pathetic
Get help, stupid child
I'm not
Your doctor
Can't keep me away from truth

Without you
I wake up
And I don't dread the day
Your presence
Disrupts me
And keeps me awake at night

Don't doubt me
I'm loyal
And I'm ready to quit
This conversation
This friendship
And leave you all behind

Our memories
Are jaded
And discarded carelessly
Who are you,
You fake little girl
Grow up, then call me

I'll leave it
All open
I don't care to hurt you really
Interest me
And then we
Can continue where we left

I'm not
That heartless
I'm just not that attached
Sure, believe me
When I tell you
It's friends forever more